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RE: “WHAT SHOULD I DO?”

Adopt! Adopt! Adopt! I’m not telling you this as a parent who is happy with my product, I’m telling you this as a person who was a direct product of this process and is well informed about the procedure. Adopt, please! No, this won’t mean that your children are going to be happy all the time, no this doesn’t mean that your children will not have questions about their birth parents. Most people want to know! But for Christ sakes! You are saving a child! You are saving a child from a life in foster care, you are not contributing…

What should I do?

I am looking for an answer. I am married and I need a sperm donor. Should I adopt a child or should I use a sperm donor to have a family? I appreciate any input. I like the idea of adoption very much but it seems to be a complicated and long process and that means I will give up having my own biological child. So I am very confused I don’t want to cause anybody pain… And I understand people that are adopted or that are conceived through donor are hurting. The other option would be use the donor…

Being open with our child

we have decided to tell our child from an early age about their genetic origins. I personally don’t want to carry that knowledge around for 20 years as a secret. Our child will wonder what else have you kept from me all these years. I know my son may tell the world we used an egg donor. Hopefully not but if he does and people react with negativity, that is part of life. As humans we will encounter prejudice and it is a harsh reality. We want to teach our son to be resilient and have confidence in himself. Hopefully…

Dear IP Perspective

My infertile husband and I rejected using donor sperm to conceive a child for ethical reasons. You sound conflicted and I am concerned for you, your husband, the child you already have, and the child you are thinking of conceiving. If you have not already gotten counseling, you should. I would suggest seeing more than one counselor to get different perspectives. Carefully read and re-read the stories on this site. Children are gifts and not entitlements. Parenting is a privilege and not a right (from an ethical perspective, not a legal one). It is a parent’s job to make sacrifices…

How can we get this right?

After a lot of thinking, research and mind blowing meeting and conversations we really want to use a donor egg, it’s the only way for us to have a baby. Reading some of these stories, it scares me, I don’t want my child to feel unloved, that we didn’t care enough to get the information right. What can we do to make our possible future child feel loved while explaining how they came to be? What should we be asking of the donor (question wise) that could help with the questions they will have in the future? I don’t expect…

Am I

i didn’t particularly care when i was told i was an ivf baby back when i was 11/12 but i ‘m 14 now and after checking up about ivf (Equality referendum got me thinking) i am worried that me or my non-identical twin are donated but i cant get up the nerve to ask my parents since my anxiety just makes me think something awful will happen if i ask

IP Perspective

I am what is known as an IP or intended parent. My husband and I will have a child via egg donor and his sperm. We have one bio child via IVF and we realize how fortunate we are. Donor egg is the only way we will be able to have any other children. I am an older mother, but our situation is the result of years of poor medical care and misdiagnosis, not simply age, other health issues, etc… We never “waited” to have a child. Honestly, I still have a lot of hurt and sadness from the so…

Another Response to “PLEASE STOP SAYING MOTHER/FATHER”

Donors are not just for those who are a couple that have the unfortunate circumstance of being infertile. I come from a single mother, no father. I can assure you that those of us that use MOTHER/FATHER when describing our donors do it because they are the only other half we have (or the only other half we feel like we have). From what I read, I really do not get the impression that you yourself come from a donor — and that explains some of what you are saying. I did not write this to bash you or call…

“PLEASE STOP SAYING MOTHER/FATHER” a response

Dear Infertile Woman, Why do you get to decide what we choose to call our biological parents? Before you realized your infertility, would you have felt this strongly about what your children choose to call their real parents? Would you not be deeply insulted if your daughter looked you in the face and said “You aren’t my real mother. The fact that you gave life to me means absolutely nothing. You’re nothing but a egg-donor”? Answer, I’m curious. I’m sorry to tell you this but parenthood isn’t something that you can buy on a contract. Its a biological process when…

Please stop saying Mother/Father

I’ve read several of the stories on here and I’m a bit disturbed about something- it’s something that I see on other sites, too: the misuse of the word ‘father’ and ‘mother’. Your father is not the man that donated sperm. Your mother is not the woman that donated her eggs. The definitions of these roles have nothing to do with genetics. Donors are just that: people that gave something to help create you. But that’s when their ties to you stop. The people that were there when you were born, raised- that’s your mother/father/family. Genetics really don’t matter in…

What Next?

Dad, donor, man that took part in my creation, or whatever it is that I am supposed to call you: I used to laugh at the stories that said things like, “it’s totally possible to find your biological parents these days due to how extremely capable the internet has become,” that is, until tonight. I now am that person, sitting here telling my story all because of Google. I used to type in all of the personal information that was provided by the California Cryobank on my father into Google, all of the details poured out from underneath my fingertips…

A response to the entry “READ BETWEEN THE LINES”

I’m not sure if you’re truly donor conceived or not. Although I do understand that there are parents of donor conceived offspring who write with a similar flavor to the offensive entry you have entered to this web page. So let me start by saying, hello, how are you? Why are you angry? If your life is so perfect why do you feel the need to come to this page to begin with? I’m conflicted. Why are the emotions of other offspring of assisted reproductive technology a insult to your family? My personal thoughts certainly do not have any ill…