Category: Donor Conceived
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i found my bio mom and couldn’t be happier

Almost five months ago now I found my bio mom on ancestrydna.com. I messaged her and immediately went from years of pain and wondering (from my strong belief that I would never know her or anything about her) to anxiety that she’d never see, read, or respond to my message. But she did and we have been in contact ever since. It still feels so surreal that if I woke up tomorrow and it was all a dream, I wouldn’t question that though I would be pretty sad. She has been so open to answering my questions and sharing information…

I have lost all hope

Growing up it was just my mom, my two very involved godparents and me. I always knew I was missing a biological father. I always had to explain to my friends since the age of five why I don’t have a dad. I liked it, I got attention for it as a kid and I barely felt a void. It wasn’t until my teen angst kicked in and I started resenting my mother. I found out she had a choice whether or not to choose and anonymous donor. When I asked her about it she told she didn’t want my…

Tell Me the Truth about My Conception

January of 2019, my boyfriend of a short 4 months purchased me this cool gift where you submit your DNA to a website and it tells you about your ancestry, your traits, and your potential genetic illnesses. One thing that is less advertised, is that it also connects you to the people who share your DNA. Here is my story. I received the results to this 23 and Me test & I eagerly opened it, excited to see what my true background was. I am racially ambiguous, and although we’ve always grown to believe we are bi-racial, 3 quarters black…

Conflicted Feelings

I’m not very good at writing and english is not my first language so this may be short. I’m a daughter of a single mother that chose to have a child through sperm donation. I’ve been conscious of this since I was a small child and when I was younger it didn’t bother me much, you can’t miss what you never had right? I am now 19 and this has changed a little bit. I don’t want a father, I don’t need a father, but I want a face, a name, anything, I know nothing. I’ve tried to talk to…

Silently Longing

I have known for most of my life that my parents used donor sperm to conceive me, but we never spoke of the fact that I’m donor conceived after the initial conversation. To my parents, it probably appeared that I had zero interest in it. But what they didn’t know is that even as a young kid I had picked up on the fact that they weren’t very comfortable with the topic. If I was asked if I would ever want to know who my biological father was if I could, my answer was, “nope, I’m not curious.” I didn’t…

Beware of Governments Bearing Gifts

If you’re donor conceived and living in Victoria, Australia, you’ve probably heard the government has passed a new law. Once you turn eighteen, you can apply for the identity of your donor, even if he donated under the condition of anonymity. You may be considering taking advantage of this. Before you jump in, please consider how it might play out. You contact VARTA, and after the mandatory counselling, they send a registered letter to your donor. Now things get interesting. Let’s assume your donor has normal social skills. If so, he’s probably been married for twenty or more years and…

I am Alive

Without sperm donation, I would not be here, and my sister would not be here. I would NOT be alive. My parents told me when I was 18 that I was donor conceived. When they told me, I was incredibly shocked, but I realize that without my sperm donor I would not be here. After the initial shock went away things went back to normal in our house. My dad is still MY DAD! I am not a victim because I am donor conceived. I am alive because I was donor conceived. My mom and dad were put in a…

I think about her every day

I am an 18-year-old female and I was conceived using an egg donor. My dad is my biological dad and I admire him beyond words. I’m not at all close with my mom. My parents told me they used an egg donor when I was 10-12 years old. That’s a guess; I honestly don’t remember how old I was. Every day I wonder about my biological mom. Does she wonder about me? Do we look similar? Do we have similar personalities, likes, and dislikes? Do I have half-siblings? Do I have grandparents that know about me? That barely scratches the…

Half-Siblings from Sperm Donor

I was donor conceived in 1997, while my biological mother was in a same-sex relationship with my other mum. At the time they could not afford to access a clinic, and as an alternative they were able to find a known donor and my mum’s partner performed the insemination at home. I have known from a very early age that I was donor-conceived (I was around 6 when I was told) and I know the identity of my donor but have never attempted to make contact. I am his only female offspring and I also know that he has two…

My “Biological” Mom Was an Anonymous Egg Donor

At the age of 20, my mom told me out of the blue on a car ride that I am not genetically related to her at all. I was shocked, and although it’s been a week, I still don’t know what to think. I’ve always been fascinated by genetics and knowing my roots, and I feel hurt my mom didn’t tell me sooner. Part of the reason I studied German in college is because of my “maternal grandfather’s” roots, and now I’m at a total loss. Who am I? I’m thankful to know I’m at least related to my dad,…

I never knew I was a donor baby until 33…Tell your kids!!

So, my story is the same in many ways as others on here. However, it’s different in one big way. It all started when I decided to take an Ancestry DNA test. I was primarily concerned with the ethnicity percentages. There had always been a family legend that we had a lot of Native American genes, and I wanted to see how true it was. When the report came back, there were no huge surprises. I was mostly French Canadian, Irish, and then there was inexplicably some southern European, but it was small (9%) so I didn’t think much of…

Dear Current and Prospective Parents, Please Read This

Dear Prospective Parents (and current parents, this is good for you to read too), I understand you want to bring a beautiful, loving child into this world. I understand it’s programmed deep into our psychology and biology. I understand you genuinely believe you will be the best parent in the world and you can do no harm, and you will be so, so, SO loving and as long as you have read a few articles from people who are donor conceived, you’re in the clear. And you might be. Your baby who becomes a kid who becomes an adult could…