Anonymous Donor, Lost at Sea

Submitted on: April 21, 2013

I was 18, in college, drinking beer and chasing girls. At the time, I didn’t think much (or at all) about the consequences of being a sperm donor. The ladies at the bank were very pleasant — always reminding me what a generous gift I was giving to those who couldn’t conceive. I’m a little older, perhaps a little wiser, but as I see baby after baby being listed on DSR, I feel disconcerted. What do I make of all this? I always had a vague notion there might be a person conceived as a result of my donations, but, after reading the emotional stories on this site, how do I handle the fact that there are dozens (or hundreds) of children out there with my DNA. Will they search out for me? Want to meet me? Will they resent me for a decision born out of youthful ignorance, so I could tell my buddies about my “kick-ass swimmers”? How involved might our lives be? Should I remain anonymous and simply keep my medical history updated? Or should I brace myself to one day be sending out 80 Christmas cards to biological children I didn’t raise and don’t know. Is there some sort of middle ground? After I graduated, I moved on, to a different city and a different lifestyle. And while I may have quietly moved on, I see now the decisions I made remain very much permanent in consequence. At the time I wasn’t thinking; now I don’t know what to make of what I’m feeling.