Considering conceiving via donor, but worried by testimonies – perspectives?

Submitted on: September 17, 2018

I am a 37 year old woman considering conceiving a child via a donor, and came on to this site as I wanted to know how donor-conceived children felt about their origin. I am now very concerned having read some of the testimonies on here that it can have a really negative impact on the child – in some cases to the point that they seem to wish they had not been born – and I would like to know further perspectives. In particular I would like to know if there are ways to mitigate the difficulties, for example, being honest from a young age (which I would do) or explaining it in a particular way? Does having an open ID donor help? Another option I am now looking at is co-parenting, but would that also generate difficulties in the sense of the parents never having been romantically involved and rather pairing up to pro-create?
Some of the testimonies on here suggest they see their mothers as selfish or having not been “bothered” to find a mate, or having robbed them of their right to know their fathers. I think I and most women in this position can safely say that not everyone is lucky enough to find a suitable partner, not for lack of trying, but that the biological urge to have and love a child does not go away. But I would hate to inflict that kind of feeling on a child. I am also very concerned that some say they don’t feel part of their mother’s families, which I don’t particularly understand as any grandchild is only 50 percent related whoever the father is, but I would also like to know how people feel about that and if they think it is unavoidable. My family is very close and would be very involved.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated, thank you.