Dear “I WORRY THAT MY CHILD WILL BE UNHAPPY”

Submitted on: September 25, 2018

I conceived our now nearly 18 year old daughter with the help of anonymous egg donation. We have always been honest about this. When DD was very young and asked about siblings (repeated attempts failed) I told him my belly couldn’t make any more babies and as she grew older I added things like the doctors and a nice lady helped us have you. I always referred to her as our “Miracle Baby.” I think she was starting to learn about biology in elementary school when I elaborated on how the “nice lady helped” she only recently mentions our lack of genetic link, and in ways like “good thing I didn’t inherit your ______ (insert snarky teenage comment) I have always answered all her questions honestly and I can truly say she is nothing but grateful that we wanted her so badly we went through great trouble and expense, we even suggested maybe she might someday want to participate in some sort of follow up study on children from donors. She has never once mentioned the idea of me as anything other than her “real mom” I hope you have a beautiful pregnancy and enjoy motherhood at every turn. It will be challenging and there will be issues, but this is true of every parent child relationship. I thank God every day for the gift of egg donation that led me to bringing this amazing human into this world. I often wish I could tell her how grateful I really am. Egg donation is a beautiful gift and should be received with a grateful heart and without shame or regret.