Is egg donation the same as sperm donation?
My sister is 6 months pregnant with a baby conceived from an egg doner from Spain. Endometriosis destroyed her chances of kids any other way. She is over the moon & I am happy for her but have been doing some reading on the subject which brought me this website. My sister intends to tell her child the truth but only when our parents pass away as they just wouldn’t except it, even I know that (the joys of living in Ireland). Not sure when that will be as they are only mid sixties.
My reading up on the subject has concluded that almost all research into third party conceived children has been done on sperm doner kids and the message is clear -tell kids very early. Which made me uneasy about my sisters situation.
However, can the same advice still hold true with egg doner children? The thought of not being my fathers son is very difficult for me to comprehend (although I never have actually checked!) however I’m not that sure I would care that much if I found out now at age 32 that my mum needed to pinch a bit of another woman’s ovary to help her. The idea just doesn’t seem as shocking or as relevant to who I am. Is The bond between mother and child stronger than DNA? Is being a mum so much more than eggs but a dad is just about semen? Then there is ongoing research into epigenetics, one study I read claimed that 75% of differences in baby’s is due to the interaction between womb and embryo
I have also read a few stories on line about egg doner kids finding out much later than the recommend age and not really caring, in fact in two cases it reinforced the bond. I m not sure if the doners were anonymous in these cases – I can’t remember.
It’s probably still best to be open and honest from young age due to a lack of evidence otherwise, but until the egg doner conceived baby’s grow up and voice their opinions we can’t say for definite that sperm and egg donation are the same.