Not really a donor story

Submitted on: February 5, 2019

This isn’t technically a donor child story but it’s the story of how I got here and how it turned out.

My name’s Caiden and I’m 18. I live with my mom and dad, older brother and younger sister. I’m not close at all to my older brother who has a different father, but I’m really close to mom and dad and especially sis. Mom said we’re like two peas in a pod.

When I was 15 I found out that my dad isn’t my biological father. I felt totally dislocated for a while because I’m close with my dad and mom and my younger sister, but not with my older brother who is my mom’s child from an ex. I wish they had told me earlier.

Dad was showing me how to use a safety razor on my first hairs on my upper lip. Looking in the mirror reminded me of how different we look. His hair color, nose, chin and eye color are all different. I was already taller than him and built thin and he’s stocky. I always knew we had different personalities but he did all the father-son stuff with me like camping, etc. Mom is very open about sex but he was the one who told me about it and made sure I knew enough to not get a girl pregnant or STD and more than that. In short he was the best father.

So I asked him kinda joking if he was sure he was my father and he told me all about being with mom for morning sickness and ultra sounds and when I was born and his name is on my birth certificate so he’s totally my dad. Then he said if what I meant was he my biological father said no but it was someone mom loved very much but he was like 20 and wasn’t ready for a family. I asked him who is my biological father and he said ‘Jim Miller’ (not his real name)and did I remember him? He came to my birthday parties when I was little & I still get a Christmas present from him usually money but I haven’t seen him in years. Dad said that the three of them agreed that if mom got pregnant with him it would be mom & dad’s child and his gift to our family and he was proud of me and I couldn’t be a better son. And him and mom still talk on the phone sometimes and Jim asked how I am and how I’m doing in school, etc. Dad told me I was no accident like him and his brothers but they all 3 agreed it would be this way and were really happy when I was born.

Jim’s married now and has two girls in elementary school my half-sisters. Dad always told he could be a part of my life if he wanted to be and they wouldn’t keep it a secret he was my biological father and he was expecting me to call someday as I would probably want to get to know him some and I could any time I wanted to. I was kind of upset and acted dislocated. He said look at it this way, I have two fathers and five grand parents (one died) and I’m connected to a lot of people. He said Jim’s parents know about me and want to meet me someday, and his wife didn’t know about me until they were married and she was pissed but got over it.

So after that I met him and my half-sisters who like me a lot and Jim’s wife, who doesn’t. When I met him I knew I was related to him and we liked each other instantly and he took me to movies and stuff with my new sisters. So it goes to show things can work out he just doesn’t want me to call him Donor Dad.

I thought it was totally weird for a long time and didn’t want anybody to know but now I don’t care if they do or not. I told my girlfriend and she thinks it’s totally cool so I guess it’s okay now.