RE: “WHAT SHOULD I DO?”
Adopt! Adopt! Adopt! I’m not telling you this as a parent who is happy with my product, I’m telling you this as a person who was a direct product of this process and is well informed about the procedure. Adopt, please! No, this won’t mean that your children are going to be happy all the time, no this doesn’t mean that your children will not have questions about their birth parents. Most people want to know! But for Christ sakes! You are saving a child! You are saving a child from a life in foster care, you are not contributing to the 7 billion people who are overpopulating this godless world for a selfish process that leaves huge holes in hearts and souls.
I am donor-conceived, I’m happy to be alive, but I would never wish this on my worst enemy in a million years. I wanted to have a father. I never had a father. I never told my mother because I wanted to make her happy. For eighteen years. In the end it was not a successful process. She’s still miserable, and I don’t know if I’m dating my brother, or even my own father! Why would someone do this to someone, is a question I ask every day.
No child should grow up being told that their genes was part of a supply and demand chart. None! Children should be born through the love of their live-givers, not through a corrupted industry that markets and sells children to desperate people.
Open adoption is wonderful. My best friend was from a open adoption. She is so happy. Her birth parents knew their place and visited on holidays and lettered back and forth, and she grew up loved by both her biological parents AND non-biological parents. Her adopted parents were infertile too, just like you. But they felt the Christian duty to take in needy children, and make sure their child knew where they came from. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! I didn’t have that, and it ruined my identity and my self esteem. It made me struggle with suicide and depression, and anxiety. With time and counseling, I’m recovering, but there is no point in putting a child through this type of grief when it easily could have been avoided. What’s the point. So parents can have their dreams come true? I’m not a dream, I’m a person.
Don’t do it. There will be selfish parents and their loyal children with disagree. Realize that so many of us are being excommunicated and outcasted for not saying what our parents want, when you read their too-perfect stories.