Not knowing.

Submitted on: April 7, 2013

Many people who know me but don’t know my real story. Who I really am. Who my other half is. I grew up with two wonderful parents. They separated when I was about 4. My dad (who is my biological dad) ended up getting custody of me when I was 10. My mother, I found out she wasn’t my real mother a little earlier than I should have. I was probably 7 and I asked her “Why don’t I look like you?” and then she told me the story. My parents wanted very much to have a kid. But, my mother was too old to have kids at the time so they decided on surrogacy. My biological mother donated her egg and wanted to stay anonymous. All we know about her is that her family is all healthy, she has two older sons, and she has blonde hair (since my dad has black hair I probably got it from her.) Ever since I was told at age 7 that the mother who I always thought of as my own, wasn’t. And now that I think about it, we are nothing alike. There is another huge story that happened when I was 10 but, I’m not going to go into detail, let’s just say after I turned 11 my dad got sole custody of me.
I wonder all the time who my biological mother is. What does she look like? What does she like to do in her free time? What does she do for a job? Does she even know I exist? Does she ever want to meet me? What would I say to her if I ever met her? There is just so many questions and no answers. Only my close friends know about this and they want to know these things as well. Sometimes when I walk down the street, I’ll think, have I seen my biological mother today? Maybe I’ve already seen her and not even know it. The worst thing about being this way is not knowing. I just found out about this website and I like it. I like knowing that there are kids out there just like me who don’t know who their mother/father is. I feel like we all relate in a way. If I ever meet this wonderful woman who helped conceive me, I would have so many questions. I would also want to thank her so much for my wonderful and blessed life that I have because of her.