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A 1 AM rant from a girl looking for her other family

It’s almost 1 am and can’t stop thinking about all the family I have out there 6 brothers 6 sisters 1 dad I may never know. I have the paper work I know my donor number my mom had kept nothing from me but still that’s all I know. I payed $75 dollars out of my less than $10 salary for the sibling donor registry and nothing. It’s only been 2 months but the membership only lasts a year. I tell my self I just want to know something but that’s a lie I know allot of somethings, more than…

RE: FIXING BIRTH CERTIFICATES

I wanted to comment on this post. This person states that by replacing the person’s Dad with their biological dad on their birth certificate that they’d be able to access records of their dad’s (“step parents”) family and still be legally related. This is simply not true. My mother had a one night stand with a family friend while married that resulted in my conception. The truth didn’t come out until I was 15. It led to my parents getting divorced. For record keeping purposes I had my birth certificate changed to reflect my biological father being listed. I didn’t…

Open Letter to My Egg Babies

This is an open letter to my egg babies…. I am not your mother in the truest sense of the word. I decided to give the gift of life to someone who desperately wanted a child to call their own. I didn’t get to hold you as a baby and try to ease your cries, or hold you as a toddler and wipe tired tears from your eyes. But I have held you in my heart all these many years. Oh how I lie awake some nights and wonder how you are! I wonder if you are near or very,…

The Price of Motherhood

I was conceived in a doctor’s office. No, not in a “Girls Gone Wild: Hot Doctor Edition” way, in an “I already bought the sperm, so what the hell?” kind of way. My mother was a single forty-year-old English teacher who desperately wanted a child. This classic mommy-wannabe crisis is Rom-Com gold. But, she was no Tina Fey in Baby Mama. The boyfriends didn’t want children, the adoption agency rejected her application, and her polycystic ovaries sent eviction notices to their tenants. Everyone — including her own body — told her no. She would have to do this motherhood thing…

The Backwards Cinderella Story

My mother derailed from the traditional family timeline. The natural order of things, as a whole, never applies to her. She eats dessert before dinner, and had the child before the husband. Her title for it is the “Backwards Cinderella Story”: first comes sperm donor, then comes baby, then comes husband in a horse-drawn carriage. Using the same logic as half-siblings, I’m half-adopted. I’m my mother’s biological child, but my father’s legal child. He adopted me a few months after he married my mother, which was only a few years after I was born. The courthouse filled the empty space…

Feeling Cheated and Used

Six years ago a colleague/friend told me how she was unable to have children. Her sister was scheduled to donate her eggs to her, but she suddenly passed assay. In a moment of impulsive generosity I said I would step in and help her and her husband. We went to a psychologist together as part of the process. We agreed that any children who were to be created would be told that they came from my eggs when they were young. I was very adamant that they be told otherwise I wouldn’t do it. We made twin girls who are…

I need to know my FATHER

I am a sixteen year old girl born to a single mother by choice who used an anonymous sperm donor. Altogether I have had a rather good upbringing but on a daily basis I wonder about and search for my biological father. People who are not donor conceived will never truly under stand the struggles we go through. I have a boyfriend and it hurts me that I don’t feel protected. I never got to introduce my boyfriend to my father and have my father act protective. I won’t have a father to walk me down the aisle. I never…

My son

My husband and I did not expect a miracle. But that is exactly what we recieved on December 5th, 2014 when the pregnancy test I had taken revealed that I was pregnant. 13 years of marriage had come and gone. My husband didn’t want to get tested, I however did. I was told on numerous times that I could have pcos which is a condition that effects ovulation. For years I thought it was me, my breaking point was when I’d reached the age of 30; 9 years of marriage at that time. I put my foot down and threatened…

long term disastrous effect of egg donation

I went thru two egg donation cycle when I was 29 and 30 because I needed cash to pay for my debts (CC, car and home loan). I experienced major swelling on my tummy on both occasion after the retrieval and was in pain for a week each time. 4 years later, I was pregnant with twins, I was very happy because there were no twins ever in my family history. Then , the unthinkable happened. At 5th week into my pregnancy, I was watching TV one night, when I felt a sharp pain in my belly. The pain escalated…

The Law of the Jungle?

I have not seen the latest movie version of the Jungle Book but hope that it remains truer to the original than the previous version. Kipling’s writings dealt with darker themes than the cartoons of dancing bears. The first chapter opens with a matter of life and death; the fate of a human baby rests in the balance. A she wolf would gladly foster the babe as one of her own but there is a price that must be paid if the child is to be allowed to live. Ultimately it is not her but Bagheera, the black panther who…

Mourning the Loss of A Child; But Seeking Alternative Options

I always thought I would have children, since I was a child I was watching “House in the prairie” and I would always picture myself having such a family. Time went by and I was pushed by my family to be a strong, independent woman. I did indeed succeed in getting my degree, a PhD, and speaking several languages. I did not have a partner and the idea of getting IUI with donor sperm was growing in my mind. At the same time, I did read a lot on donor conceived children, and I did think that these children may…

Should I Care?

I am a only child and daughter of two lesbian mothers, although me and my biological mum move away when I was about 6. Both my parents were very open to me from a young age about how I was born, although I never really questioned it until I moved to a more conservative area, where every kid had a mommy and a daddy and lots of my friends found it strange when I told them I didn’t have a dad. When I was really little I spread a story about how he was brutally murdered in a forest, which…