All Anonymous Us Stories
I am an Egg Donor
This site was recommended to me by a friend who knew I was going through an egg donation cycle. I immediately felt guilty for ever signing up to become an egg donor at such a young age. I do not feel guilty now. A lot of donors remain anonymous for a reason. It’s a tough route to go to donate your genetics for money and a person’s wish to become a parent. Donors know that if they were faced by their children it would not be a happy family reunion. I, personally, chose to be contacted but have heard nothing….
My boyfriend donated his sperm to his lesbian best friends
I have felt compelled to write this because I have struggled to find a similar experience I can relate to online, or anywhere. I have been in a heterosexual relationship with my partner for 8 years. His best friends, a lesbian couple, asked him in 2012 if he would consider donating his sperm to them. He was delighted, understandbly, and flattered, but said he’d talk it over with me. When it was first raised, I was 24 years old. My partner was 29, as were his best friends. I felt miles away from contemplating starting a family myself but the…
Dead Beat Dad Response
To the writer of the post who was shocked that people use the term sperm donor to describe dead beat fathers: You said “Every day I think about how this man is out here in the world, but he will never equate to someone who intentionally left my mother and I stranded. ” We humans tend to tie a lot of emotional fluff to the word father when it does not by definition mean care-giver at all it means male source, look it up. The man you refer to in your statement is your father according to the primary definition…
I’m so sorry, children
Hello, you don’t know me. I was your donor, and I was supposed to know you. And your parents gave me fake names. I didn’t know until afterward. I now realize that there were some warning signs that I should have noticed. I feel a lot of guilt that I made a couple of terrible people parents. I worry every single day that they’re terrible people to you, too. I am sorry.
IVF (Egg Donor Conceived)
1st and foremost I’m blessed to have been born, God Willing above all; Through IVF. I am egg donor conceived. Male. I found out when I was 16… now in my mid 20’s. Years and years later I still wonder and ponder, “who is my REAL Mother”… where is she? Is she even alive? Would she accept me for who I am? My current Mother… well growing up never accepted me… or even really cared to grow a bond with me (favortizes my 3 sisters; yes I’m a Quadruplet). It makes sense why now. There is a massive dIsconnection due…
All alone now.
I just lost my mother recently, she was a single mother who decided to use a sperm donor because she was running out of time to have children and she wanted me so badly that she tried everything she could to have me. My mother always loved me enough for two, hell ten people. I never in my life felt unloved. My mother was my best friend. It was just us two against the world. I found out at a young age I was donor conceived. My mother told me everything. She never kept anything from me. I never missed…
D-baby—a new Australian play about donor conception
Australian playwright Jane Cafarella (author of e-baby, about the relationship between an intended parent and the surrogate she hires in the US) has a new play in development – d-baby – which answers the question raised in e-baby: “But what about the child?” d-baby is the story of a 17-year-old-girl who discovers she is donor conceived and sets out to search for her donor. It is the companion piece to e-baby and a stand-alone piece, not a sequel. The play currently is in development and has the support of a director, but is looking for a producer – and an audience. d-baby is a mythic tale about the universal search for…
A letter addressed to my “Father”
Dear Dad or should I call you my biological father, Well, whatever I am supposed to be calling you, hello. The last time I tried to write to you was when I was 9, but my mother chose to keep the handwritten letter for herself. Thank you for bringing the gift of my life into the world, but realize that it comes with stipulations. All I have ever wanted was love, Dad. I’ve only wanted one thing in this life that I have been missing: paternal love. The bond between a father and his daughter that shows her the way…
Dear the author of Damaged
Dear Damaged, I don’t know if this will help, but you mention that you’re afraid your siblings might ‘think you’re ungrateful too’. As someone who’s read your story, I just wanted to say that you’re not ungrateful at all. If someone gives you a gift you didn’t ask for, you are NOT obliged to be grateful for it. (In fact, that’s a technique used by sex predators– giving someone a gift they didn’t request, in order to trick them into feeling as if they need to be grateful, and therefore like they can’t stand up for themselves and say no.)…
Hypocritical atitudes toward donors
Something I’ve noticed that’s interesting in the common language and mentality about egg, sperm or embryo donors, and donor-conceived (DC) children. There’s the oft-reported refrain supporting the language that the social parents are the “real parents.” The widely-accepted mantra of, “Your parents are the ones who raised you,” etc. There’s often no space for the concept of additional “real” parents.This is especially the case if the DC-child was raised in a heterosexual, two-parent household and an anonymous donor was used. Thus, generally “the donor” retains that title, even when known. When or if the DC-child meets “the donor’s” children from…
A letter to Damaged
Dear “Damaged”, I read your story with tears in my eyes. I too am donor conceived though my story is very different to yours. I found out that I was donor conceived completely by accident in my 50’s. My parents had every intention of taking the secret of my origins to their graves. Finding out shattered me: my identity felt instantaneously destroyed and I no longer knew who I was at all. I felt at various times (and sometimes all at once): the most intense anger, incredible despair, the most awful loneliness, betrayed, loss, alienated, howling grief, complete distrust in…
Donor Egg Options
My husband and I are about to proceed with a donor egg and his sperm. This is not a decision we’ve taken lightly, we’ve discussed it and worked it out between ourselves for almost 6 years. My parents are accepting and happy for us, his parents would not be. We haven’t told them. They are both very old and in poor health now so the chances of them seeing this child grow up are quite slim. There is no point in upsetting them at this point either. My husband and I initially thought we would keep this information to ourselves,…