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lies upon lies

When I was about 17, I was laying in the dentist’s chair with all the tubes etc. in my mouth and the dentist asked casually over his shoulder as he arranged his instruments on the counter, “So where’d you get the native or asian teeth?” This set me off on a journey of discovery because this was a complete unknown to me. I found out there was a native-white marriage a few generations back on my dad’s side, and was sure it was probably the source of the scoop-shaped incisors. Did some DNA tests to confirm, but tests of my…

The Other Kids

I am a family member affected by adoption. I was a teen when I met two brothers who were given up for adoption at birth. Both of them were young adults, and the youngest is a full brother. I knew about them when I was very young as my dad was very open at the time, however my mom died when the rest of us kids were very young. My new brother developed a fixation with me and gave me a lot of attention, which I was uncomfortable with, but I was very shy and quiet, and felt obligated to…

Donor Conceived through Private Arrangments

My biological mother was bisexual, and at the time of my conception she was in a relationship with another woman. They couldn’t afford to conceive me through a clinic, so they made private arrangements with my non-biological mother’s nephew and he donated the sperm which conceived me, making me related to both of my mums. Their relationship ended a year after I was born, and in my early years I lived with my biological mother but had regular contact with my other mum and I moved in with her through my teen years and I still live with her to…

to the one person i have loved but never met

hey, this is your egg doner. You must be nearly 16 by now. when i donated i didn’t get paid, i only ever thought of the process as a gift. yet as the years go by i look for you, i just want to know that you are ok. that the parents that had you looked out for you. i don’t regret a thing but i wish i could see you. even a picture. I hope one day you will look for me like i look for you in the street. I have placed my details on the register and…

With Deep Sadness

To All of The Children Conceived Through Sperm Donors, I have read some of your stories and am deeply saddened. You seem to be so angry and upset over not knowing half of your biological side. You have encouraged me to not use donor technology. My partner can’t have children because he had cancer as a child. We would love to experience the process of child birth and having children but many of these stories seem to point to adoption as a better option. I don’t want to rob myself of the experience of having children but apparently not conceiving…

There is Never a Good time to KNOW

I sent DNA tests in order to find my Father’s long lost cousins. What I found was my father was NOT my father. I will never “match” any of his cousins. My parents took a HUGE secret to their grave. They apparently had plausible doubt back then. (the doctor would mix a husbands sample with the donor sample) The good news is my risk of diabetes and heart disease dropped dramatically. The bad news is my son’s bipolar disorder likely came from ME! My genetic father was likely bipolar and at 54 I have already lived longer than he did….

The day I knew it was time

I was young when I had decided to become a single mom by choice. I was dating this man who I thought was my prince charming we were going to get married until one day I asked him this question ” How many kids should we have” he looked at me like if I was the crazy one. He said something I never wanted to here, he said ” we are not having kids and if you get pregnant I won’t support it” I knew that this man was not for me so I left him and never looked back….

Grandmother Wishes You Well

My daughter donated her eggs several years ago, and at the time indicated to the parents who received them, that she was donating anonymously. Since that time there have been a number of times, she has looked at the faces of other people’s children, then later remarked privately to me, that they looked familiar. She comments to me that our family’s features are pretty easy to recognize, and I believe she now regrets her choice to be anonymous. As the grandparent, I often wonder also if my grandchildren are well, if they’re happy, if they’re understood and treated with patience….

My boyfriend “donated” sperm.

Now that we’re serious I’m concerned about this and the ethics of sperm donation in general. I don’t like that sperm banks separate families across the globe and I don’t support the commodification of children. I don’t like that they disparage half-siblings, simply because they share one biological parent so it shouldn’t matter if they’re separated according to the logic of some people. It’s a very lucrative business that’s protected by the people that are desperate to have their “own” children. Since blood relations are so important to them, don’t they think that their children will wonder who their biological…

The day I failed to become a father and had to let my wife convince me donation sperm was a good idea.

To experience infertility is one of life’s unlucky situations. I’ve known about my infertility for many years, but the feeling of loss is still as raw as it has ever been. I was lucky enough to conceive one child thru ivf with my previous partner. But time has moved along and am now re married and its back to that place I always dreaded. After many cycles of unsuccessful treatment I’m faced with the painful decision to use donor sperm. I thought it would be an easier choice than it has been. I feel the emotions of my childless partner…

The longing for a child

I always knew that I wanted to have a family of my own one day. It was, and is, my biggest dream in life. It’s what really matters to me. I searched many years for the right man. I really did. One day I thought I had found him. A wonderful man who was everything I had been looking for, and he became my partner. My Prince Charming. I loved him very much and we got pregnant. I was so happy. Felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Unfortunately I lost our child and I had to bury our…

Wish I hadn’t

I donated sperm for a year or so in the early years of college. Basically was young and stupid about life things, didn’t yet possess the emotional capacity to envision how things might be down the road for any children conceived this way, and of course-needed money. In subsequent years I became aware of DSR when I saw something about it on the news. Went to the site, found some offspring listed under my donor ID and made contact just to let them know I was healthy as was my family and if they wanted to know anything about me…