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New York Magazine—I am a Donor Baby Project

My name is Alexa. I’m a senior writer at New York magazine where I specialize in interviewing people who are either ignored and distorted or sensationally covered by the media. I’m known for my sensitive in-depth approach…I always let the voice of my interviewee guide my interviews and I am interested in open ended- talking accounts that are raw, real and honest. Here’s some links to work I have done in the past: http://nymag.com/author/Alexa%20Tsoulis-Reay http://nymag.com/author/As%20Told%20to%20Alexa%20Tsoulis-Reay/ I’m working on a series of “talking accounts” from people who were conceived via a sperm donor.  The aim of this piece, which will be…

Broken Record

I used to think that all donor conceived children and adults were under this giant imaginary umbrella. I thought we all had the same opinions, until I had conversation with two of my half sisters. Maybe it’s how I was raised I guess, because the thought of having half of my family tree be a mystery has always been an issue for me. Not them. Just me. I used to get mad — how can someone just NOT CARE. Not care about where half of them comes from? Who their biological father is? Why their face is a literal puzzle…

Don’t make it a big secret

When I was 12 years old, my Dad explained to me that he couldn’t have children, and that both me and my younger sister were conceived via artificial insemination, using different sperm donors. It was a rough thing to hear when you’re 12 years old, you’re about to be a teenager and life feels like it’s changing very quickly. Ironically, we had just studied IVF in school and I had thought that it was a waste of resources, when adoption was possible. I then learned that my Dad wasn’t my biological father, and my mind was pretty shaken up for…

what is a parent?

I worry our world is simply getting too analytical and it’s not going to stop with the internet and social media. I truly question what people are calling a parent. To me a parent is the person who cares for you and is there for you unconditionally for the rest of your life. I have a biological family. Are they there for me? No, they were abusive and they are all gone. Every single person is gone. I am alone with no biological connection to anyone in my life. I was not adopted. I am alone. I have struggled with…

What do I do to help?

We have a single relative who, despite not being married, decided that she needed a baby. She became pregnant and her little one is now four years old. We have dedicated ourselves to baby sitting with this little boy for two reasons: To give his mother support and to give the little boy time with more people who love him. Already this little boy talks about dads. He notices and comments about boys with their dads, shadows dads at the park, and includes dad characters in his pretend play. We are working with his mother to say exactly what she…

Dad didn’t want me; how can I have a sperm donation child myself

On my last day of preschool my dad said goodbye and I never saw or heard from him again. Starting high school the police knocked on our door and told us that they had found my dads death certificate in another country and he had passed 2 years earlier. Devastated and still not knowing what part of me was him, I waited to finish high school and travelled to the other side of the world and knocked on doors until I found the man who found him after he had passed. It was both great and sad, he had nothing…

That’s not my name

I don’t want my last name. It doesn’t fit me, nor does the family in which I was born into. I got the name from my social father. He rather did not want to have me, yet agreed in an attempt to create a child that would most likely match the real deal: a biological child of his own. Because you see, my father was infertile. Sperm was retrieved from another man who showed resemblances with him so that a perfect picture could be achieved. My parents were told that in time any awkwardness would fade away. But the truth…

Lots of kids with lesbian parents, lately :-)

I regularly visit this website, and for the past year I’ve been seeing a spurt in stories told by kids with lesbian moms. This is really good as this non-traditional perspective is exceeding rare in the mainstream media, especially in a public, where unlike straight families, these views about gay parents may influence policies like marriage equality. Really makes for a emotionally stifling time. With that being said, for anyone who’s from single or coupled lesbian and gay mom(s) or dad(s), who have non-mainstream views of it, please try contacting the young woman in the video bellow, by writing in…

Regrets about being an egg donor

I am an egg donor. There were a myriad of reasons why I decided to donate my eggs in my 30th year of living. I had this feeling being a mom wasn’t going to happen for me, and being a single mom by choice didn’t seem like a fair choice for the child if I didn’t have the support system nearby. While I know some deride the monetary compensation, but unless you have an emotional connection to the couple, altruism can easily fly out the door once the IVF process takes a toll on your physical health. I felt bloated,…

sperm donor

Hello, I first donate for a couple of females. One was a ex girlfriend and she discorvered to be lesbian and she was happy with another girl. They wanted babies and I helped them. I was scared.. will I live desiring to know these children ? will I be suited in coart for money ? I did and almost 14 years are passed. I meet them by chance in art exhibition and I saw the two teenagers they had from my donation. I felt only happy for them. I donated many other times, few times a year and in the…

You are the hero in our epic tale

I just read “Open Letter to my Egg Babies” and I HOPE our donor feels this way! My son was conceived with love and I hope that her love was part of his story. I chose her partially because her reason for donating was to help a struggling couple, and oh, did she ever. Thank you for our beautiful son! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! My son knows about you. He has seen your photos and your profile, which I keep with his baby book and umbilical cord and snippet of hair from his first haircut. You…

A 1 AM rant from a girl looking for her other family

It’s almost 1 am and can’t stop thinking about all the family I have out there 6 brothers 6 sisters 1 dad I may never know. I have the paper work I know my donor number my mom had kept nothing from me but still that’s all I know. I payed $75 dollars out of my less than $10 salary for the sibling donor registry and nothing. It’s only been 2 months but the membership only lasts a year. I tell my self I just want to know something but that’s a lie I know allot of somethings, more than…