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IVF (Egg Donor Conceived)

1st and foremost I’m blessed to have been born, God Willing above all; Through IVF. I am egg donor conceived. Male. I found out when I was 16… now in my mid 20’s. Years and years later I still wonder and ponder, “who is my REAL Mother”… where is she? Is she even alive? Would she accept me for who I am? My current Mother… well growing up never accepted me… or even really cared to grow a bond with me (favortizes my 3 sisters; yes I’m a Quadruplet). It makes sense why now. There is a massive dIsconnection due…

All alone now.

I just lost my mother recently, she was a single mother who decided to use a sperm donor because she was running out of time to have children and she wanted me so badly that she tried everything she could to have me. My mother always loved me enough for two, hell ten people. I never in my life felt unloved. My mother was my best friend. It was just us two against the world. I found out at a young age I was donor conceived. My mother told me everything. She never kept anything from me. I never missed…

D-baby—a new Australian play about donor conception

Australian playwright Jane Cafarella (author of e-baby, about the relationship between an intended parent and the surrogate she hires in the US) has a new play in development – d-baby –  which answers the question raised in e-baby: “But what about the child?” d-baby is the story of a 17-year-old-girl who discovers she is donor conceived and sets out to search for her donor.  It is the companion piece to e-baby and a stand-alone piece, not a sequel. The play currently is in development and has the support of a director, but is looking for a producer – and an audience. d-baby is a mythic  tale about the universal search for…

A letter addressed to my “Father”

Dear Dad or should I call you my biological father, Well, whatever I am supposed to be calling you, hello. The last time I tried to write to you was when I was 9, but my mother chose to keep the handwritten letter for herself. Thank you for bringing the gift of my life into the world, but realize that it comes with stipulations. All I have ever wanted was love, Dad. I’ve only wanted one thing in this life that I have been missing: paternal love. The bond between a father and his daughter that shows her the way…

Dear the author of Damaged

Dear Damaged, I don’t know if this will help, but you mention that you’re afraid your siblings might ‘think you’re ungrateful too’. As someone who’s read your story, I just wanted to say that you’re not ungrateful at all. If someone gives you a gift you didn’t ask for, you are NOT obliged to be grateful for it. (In fact, that’s a technique used by sex predators– giving someone a gift they didn’t request, in order to trick them into feeling as if they need to be grateful, and therefore like they can’t stand up for themselves and say no.)…

Hypocritical atitudes toward donors

Something I’ve noticed that’s interesting in the common language and mentality about egg, sperm or embryo donors, and donor-conceived (DC) children. There’s the oft-reported refrain supporting the language that the social parents are the “real parents.” The widely-accepted mantra of, “Your parents are the ones who raised you,” etc. There’s often no space for the concept of additional “real” parents.This is especially the case if the DC-child was raised in a heterosexual, two-parent household and an anonymous donor was used. Thus, generally “the donor” retains that title, even when known. When or if the DC-child meets “the donor’s” children from…

A letter to Damaged

Dear “Damaged”, I read your story with tears in my eyes. I too am donor conceived though my story is very different to yours. I found out that I was donor conceived completely by accident in my 50’s. My parents had every intention of taking the secret of my origins to their graves. Finding out shattered me: my identity felt instantaneously destroyed and I no longer knew who I was at all. I felt at various times (and sometimes all at once): the most intense anger, incredible despair, the most awful loneliness, betrayed, loss, alienated, howling grief, complete distrust in…

Donor Egg Options

My husband and I are about to proceed with a donor egg and his sperm. This is not a decision we’ve taken lightly, we’ve discussed it and worked it out between ourselves for almost 6 years. My parents are accepting and happy for us, his parents would not be. We haven’t told them. They are both very old and in poor health now so the chances of them seeing this child grow up are quite slim. There is no point in upsetting them at this point either. My husband and I initially thought we would keep this information to ourselves,…

The Donor’s Wife

Before I met my husband he had assisted in creating three separate families. His donations resulted in children being born to single women. His actions also resulted in incredible pain for me, despite the fact they were very much charitable and selfless and based on a desire to help. I am ashamed of him, broken and jealous. I feel robbed of a very intimate connection – something to be cherished and shared only with a loved one and not arranged in dodgy clinics via unregulated websites. It was done before we even knew of each other’s existence but it haunts…

1982 Santa Cruz donor to a lesbian couple

I am a gay man who works in male violence prevention. A lesbian friend contacted me on behalf of a lesbian couple who wanted an anonymous sperm donor who would respect their decision. Over six months I gave sperm to her at the prime time and she relayed it to them. I believe they did not live in Santa Cruz. If successful that child would be about 35 y/o and is welcome to contact me regarding genetic and health information.

Father Mother Donor Child

A new documentary by Geyrhalter Films

Message to Donor Conceived children

Dear donor conceived children! I am a mum to our sperm donor daughter! I won’t lie this wasn’t how I imagined having my family. I was pocked, prodded, injected with medications. My husband too. He has Azoosperima a condition where sperm do not mature. We tried every option but ultimately we had no other choice. In Scandinavia we were not even allowed to select our donor. We know she will be able to find out information about him when she is 18. We are very pleased about this and will support her in doing so. She knows that daddy’s sperm…