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UNK

When you join the US military, Uncle Sam first sends you to a place called “MEPS” to take a host of physical exams and answer hastily delivered questions about your health (excellent!), drug use (no way, never, uh huh, no sir), and foreign investments (if I had any would I be here?). There’s a laundry list of physical conditions that keep you from joining up, and a host of others that the military asks about with regard to your family history. “Has anyone in your family had a history of X, Y, or Z?”, that type of thing on and…

Turned inside out

I have always wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl. I started baby-sitting at age 12, and the best days of my life (aside from my wedding) were my nieces’ births. Those girls are everything to me. I am deeply maternal. Now, at 36, and married to the love of my life, a woman, we are considering adding some beautiful angels into our loving, cozy family via donor. So in my long-running search for information, I came across this website. Reading the stories on here has upended my world. More often than not, I am reassured…

To Donor Egg Babys

What you need to know … Your mother had you because she wanted a family, she loves you , she wanted to share a maternal bond with you , to care and feel you grow inside her. Pregnancy can have complications and even death , which people do not talk about but she was willing to bring you into the world knowing this. New research has found your DNA is part of your mothers not just the egg donor . Please read…in 2015 A new study from researchers at the Fundacion Instituto Valenciano de Infertilidad and Stanford University suggests infertile…

Out of Place

No one around me will ever understand. They won’t understand how it feels to not have a single idea where half of yourself comes from. It’s more painful than you would think. I was about 5 or 6 or so when my parents explained to me that I was donor conceived, along with my twin brother and my older brother. My older brother had a different donor than me and my twin. We also have a little sister who was biologically conceived by my dad. It never hit me how unusual it was for two straight married people to do…

I Found Him

I am donor conceived. I DNA tested and worked hard at trees and spying online. It feels like spying, combing through social media to find your biological family. It took a long time, but it was really exciting work. I talked to some of them. I told a few of them my story. But as I got closer to my father I got more chicken. I figured him out. His daughter has one of those huge, look-at-me wedding pages. They are all on it. They look like me, and my children. They are my siblings. We have a lot of…

Research project on (de)anonymized gamete donation in Britain

My name is Amelie and I’m a Ph.D.-student at the University of Bremen, Germany. For my dissertation in cultural anthropology I’m working on an exciting project that looks at anonymized gamete donation and how regulations regarding anonymity in this field are being challenged and transformed. I’m interested in the activities, experiences and perspectives of different actors in the field. I’m especially interested in donor-conceived persons themselves, and would like to explore their roles in this process. I will conduct two empirical case studies for my research- one in Britain, one in Germany. The aim of my project is not to…

Reading Between the Lines

I’ve resorted to analyzing word choice and punctuation in order to get closer to my biological father. He doesn’t want a relationship–he’s made that clear–but he’s willing to provide annual medical history updates. He doesn’t send them voluntarily, I have to ask for them, but he responds, so that’s something, right? Normally, he gets right to the point, answering my questions as succinctly as possible without fanfare or embellishment. There’s never been a confirmation that we are related, but the fact that he continues to share family medical information is confirmation enough. Who would share the information with anyone other…

Wanting to be a parent

I have always wanted children, it has been the one thought in my mind that has never changed throughout my life. i thought i would find a man, get married and have children, the works. But as i grew older i noticed a few strange things about myself, my interest in boys was not the same as my friends, they were interesting for the simple fact that i was not one of them, so i went through my childhood and my early teens not developing crushes of any kind, even lying to friends at points to fit in, pretending i…

My reasons for donating

I have donated sperm that has produced 12 children, as far as I am aware of. I really wanted these children to be born and I also wanted the parents to have children and families. The laws in my country allow for my identity to be disclosed when my biological children turn 18 years of age, but I have encouraged to make this happen sooner if possible. I am a single father who is currently raising one son on my own and I don’t have the capacity to raise more kids alone. I want to meet my other children and…

I can’t believe I did this.

I was eighteen. I was in college. I had been abused both emotionally and sexually by both parents. I was looking for a way out, but didn’t realize it at the time. I had grown up with remarkable grades. I graduated high school with a 4.97 weighted GPA. I’ve been playing guitar since I was ten years old. I’m excellent at art and drawing. I published several books for my senior project. I had a future. It was a rough future, and I’m worried the same thing will happen to my child. I donated at age 18. I believe in…

my 4 children of egg donation I’ll never see

I wish I could have had you myself, I wish I could have seen you grow up, know who you are, what you look like, everything. You’ve always held a special place in my heart knowing you’re out there and the slim chance I might even get to meet you one day. I’ve thought about it often over the years. And although I know that won’t happen now, I hope you find out about me one day and know where you come from. You are my only child, and I am your mother, we are bound by blood regardless of…

Tell your “kid(s)”. Don’t wait.

Since I can remember, my best friend was my dad and I never really got along with my mom. When I was 12 my dad had a massive heart attack and passed away. It was the worst thing to ever happen to me and to this day, I’m now 21, I cry every time I think about him. Shortly after I turned 21 I let my mom know that I was donating my eggs and she basically interrogated me as to why I was doing it, why the family I was going to help needed an egg donor and so…