All Anonymous Us Stories

Search / Filter Stories

Research project on (de)anonymized gamete donation in Britain

My name is Amelie and I’m a Ph.D.-student at the University of Bremen, Germany. For my dissertation in cultural anthropology I’m working on an exciting project that looks at anonymized gamete donation and how regulations regarding anonymity in this field are being challenged and transformed. I’m interested in the activities, experiences and perspectives of different actors in the field. I’m especially interested in donor-conceived persons themselves, and would like to explore their roles in this process. I will conduct two empirical case studies for my research- one in Britain, one in Germany. The aim of my project is not to…

Reading Between the Lines

I’ve resorted to analyzing word choice and punctuation in order to get closer to my biological father. He doesn’t want a relationship–he’s made that clear–but he’s willing to provide annual medical history updates. He doesn’t send them voluntarily, I have to ask for them, but he responds, so that’s something, right? Normally, he gets right to the point, answering my questions as succinctly as possible without fanfare or embellishment. There’s never been a confirmation that we are related, but the fact that he continues to share family medical information is confirmation enough. Who would share the information with anyone other…

Wanting to be a parent

I have always wanted children, it has been the one thought in my mind that has never changed throughout my life. i thought i would find a man, get married and have children, the works. But as i grew older i noticed a few strange things about myself, my interest in boys was not the same as my friends, they were interesting for the simple fact that i was not one of them, so i went through my childhood and my early teens not developing crushes of any kind, even lying to friends at points to fit in, pretending i…

My reasons for donating

I have donated sperm that has produced 12 children, as far as I am aware of. I really wanted these children to be born and I also wanted the parents to have children and families. The laws in my country allow for my identity to be disclosed when my biological children turn 18 years of age, but I have encouraged to make this happen sooner if possible. I am a single father who is currently raising one son on my own and I don’t have the capacity to raise more kids alone. I want to meet my other children and…

I can’t believe I did this.

I was eighteen. I was in college. I had been abused both emotionally and sexually by both parents. I was looking for a way out, but didn’t realize it at the time. I had grown up with remarkable grades. I graduated high school with a 4.97 weighted GPA. I’ve been playing guitar since I was ten years old. I’m excellent at art and drawing. I published several books for my senior project. I had a future. It was a rough future, and I’m worried the same thing will happen to my child. I donated at age 18. I believe in…

my 4 children of egg donation I’ll never see

I wish I could have had you myself, I wish I could have seen you grow up, know who you are, what you look like, everything. You’ve always held a special place in my heart knowing you’re out there and the slim chance I might even get to meet you one day. I’ve thought about it often over the years. And although I know that won’t happen now, I hope you find out about me one day and know where you come from. You are my only child, and I am your mother, we are bound by blood regardless of…

Tell your “kid(s)”. Don’t wait.

Since I can remember, my best friend was my dad and I never really got along with my mom. When I was 12 my dad had a massive heart attack and passed away. It was the worst thing to ever happen to me and to this day, I’m now 21, I cry every time I think about him. Shortly after I turned 21 I let my mom know that I was donating my eggs and she basically interrogated me as to why I was doing it, why the family I was going to help needed an egg donor and so…

My husband wants to be a sperm donor

My husband and I met and married when we were very young. We never had other romantic partners, and have been together many years now. We have five children. By chance I discovered that my husband was secretly communicating with multiple women offering to help them make babies. He was filled by joy and excitement at the prospect–but it has devastated me. My sense of self has been rocked–I am the mother of his children–all his children. I don’t want to share that distinction with another woman (or multiple women). I want him all for myself. It hurt me that…

To Lost and Longing

Your words are so eloquent. I feel what you feel but lack the skills to hammer my crippled English into a shape to express my pain. Even if my writing skills were adequate how can I express a clear thought when my heart is torn in three. For one I know that in most cases the parent will not tell my offspring of their origins. They won’t come looking for me. They won’t even suspect I exist. And two, that hurtful hateful two. When I gave my gift the rules were simple; you hand over the plastic cup and walk…

Change of heart

I’m a married woman of 12 years and have been unable to conceive. Four years into our marriage, I received a diagnosis of endometriosis. Laparoscopic surgery and clomid, I hoped, would lead to pregnancy. No pregnancy occurred much to my heartbreak. Another more extensive laparoscopic surgery was tried two years later, again, no baby emerged. We decided against in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination. Instead we started to look into adoption. Eventually we decided on embryo adoption in part because I would be able to carry the baby and give birth. We went to a fertility clinic that had an…

Anonymous Father’s Day Documentary

The Anonymous Father’s Day Documentary is available to view for free for one month. Please click “read this story” and you’ll be directed to the proper video.

Lost and Longing

I am 37. At the age of twenty I made the decision to donate my eggs. The recipient couple was a homosexual male couple that wished to conceive and had plans to use a surrogate. The only way I was able to wrap my head around this decision at the time was the knowledge that it would be anonymous- not because I didn’t care about the child produced or feel a desire for any kind of connection, but because I knew it would be too difficult for me otherwise. I communicated this. My decision to donate anonymously was also motivated…