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Conned out of my eggs

I’ll keep my story short and not-sweet, mostly because it’s painful to tell and I want to leave out some specifics for now. I signed on with a new egg donor agency, and repeatedly told them verbally and in writing that I am highly opposed to anonymous donation. I felt it was immoral to hide the truth from children. I was clear from the beginning that I was only interested in open donation, and was matched with a couple whom I was told felt the same way. We were all of an ethnic minority, so they were eager to have…

Conceived by Donor, Became a Donor

I became an egg donor at age 23. At the time I didn’t have a good reason for why, but something compelled me to pursue it. I could write a whole story on the medical process and the arduous toll the whole thing took on my body, but that’s for another time. I never really thought about it much after that. I never told my parents, even though I probably should have. I did tell my younger brother because I needed him to procure some baby pictures for my profile. My boyfriend (who is now my husband) was very supportive,…

My Parents Don’t Know That I Know

It has only been a week since I discovered being donor conceived and I haven’t told my parents yet. I found out through a DNA test that linked me to my donor’s sister who had coincidently taken the DNA test as well. This is a one in probably several millions of a chance occurrence. But her knowledge of the time and location link up with the modified version of the truth my parents have given me. My parents, like many others, had problems conceiving. I always thought they had a procedure done that included my dad’s sperm. Apparently not. I…

Do Not Seek Info

Short story. I was raised by lesbians, etc. Never really bugged me. Never wanted to meet my “real” dad. I stumbled on this site and was shocked to discover that like 80% of sperm donor kids want to meet their real dad. I still don’t really get why. I think that’s strange. Do you think he has answers for you? Will he tell you who you are? I never wanted to have anything to do with my dad. I was afraid that if I found out about him, he wouldn’t be nearly as cool as the people who raised me,…

Confession of a loving wife

I love my husband so much I would do morally questionable things to protect him and make him happy. We have been trying for a year to get pregnant with zero success. Ive had blood work and ultrasounds done, fearing I was infertile since I had major abdominal trauma, my mom had both endometriosis and breast cancer, and my paternal grandmother had breast cancer twice. But my medical tests all came back normal. My husband is diabetic, and knowing my stepdad who was diabetic was also sterile, I fear my husband is also sterile. I could make him get fertility…

They lied to me.

In the late 90’s I donated my eggs. It was supposed to be a known donation. I chose the family, or was it really the other way around? Was I exploited for my eggs? We knew each other intimately. I stayed at their home before retrieval. I met the family. The most important thing to me was they tell the children from the start. No one should get a shock about their genetic and ancestral origins. The parents lied and told me they never told you because they are “private” people. They promised to tell you later, when you were…

Holidays

Sometimes I’m fiery angry about being sperm donor conceived. Sometimes I’m ambivalent, or I forget for days. Today I’m overwhelmed with sadness. It is Thanksgiving. I’ve spent the days surrounded by sweet people who love me. My family. The ones who helped raise me. The ones who will claim me. I love them. I’m thankful to be with them. We’re having a lovely time. But I miss my biological dad. I wish I could call him today. I wish I knew him well. I wish I could hug my bio brother, or send a quick, silly text to him. What…

lies upon lies

When I was about 17, I was laying in the dentist’s chair with all the tubes etc. in my mouth and the dentist asked casually over his shoulder as he arranged his instruments on the counter, “So where’d you get the native or asian teeth?” This set me off on a journey of discovery because this was a complete unknown to me. I found out there was a native-white marriage a few generations back on my dad’s side, and was sure it was probably the source of the scoop-shaped incisors. Did some DNA tests to confirm, but tests of my…

The Other Kids

I am a family member affected by adoption. I was a teen when I met two brothers who were given up for adoption at birth. Both of them were young adults, and the youngest is a full brother. I knew about them when I was very young as my dad was very open at the time, however my mom died when the rest of us kids were very young. My new brother developed a fixation with me and gave me a lot of attention, which I was uncomfortable with, but I was very shy and quiet, and felt obligated to…

Donor Conceived through Private Arrangments

My biological mother was bisexual, and at the time of my conception she was in a relationship with another woman. They couldn’t afford to conceive me through a clinic, so they made private arrangements with my non-biological mother’s nephew and he donated the sperm which conceived me, making me related to both of my mums. Their relationship ended a year after I was born, and in my early years I lived with my biological mother but had regular contact with my other mum and I moved in with her through my teen years and I still live with her to…

to the one person i have loved but never met

hey, this is your egg doner. You must be nearly 16 by now. when i donated i didn’t get paid, i only ever thought of the process as a gift. yet as the years go by i look for you, i just want to know that you are ok. that the parents that had you looked out for you. i don’t regret a thing but i wish i could see you. even a picture. I hope one day you will look for me like i look for you in the street. I have placed my details on the register and…

With Deep Sadness

To All of The Children Conceived Through Sperm Donors, I have read some of your stories and am deeply saddened. You seem to be so angry and upset over not knowing half of your biological side. You have encouraged me to not use donor technology. My partner can’t have children because he had cancer as a child. We would love to experience the process of child birth and having children but many of these stories seem to point to adoption as a better option. I don’t want to rob myself of the experience of having children but apparently not conceiving…