Or is it me being selfish

Submitted on: March 23, 2016

I am an only child who lives with my single lesbian mother. I never really even had a father figure in my life, I was always surrounded by my mother’s friends. I always thought it was sort of selfish of my mother to just one day decide she wanted to have a kid. We frequently talk openly about our situation but she never mentioned her thought process or what persuaded her to bring a child into the world. It angers me because I feel like a missed out on so many opportunities that children with fathers have. The thought of not having anyone to walk me down the aisle when I get married haunts me daily.

My mother only had one brother who had two children with his now ex wife, which means that I have only one uncle and two cousins. When my mother dies I will have three family members left. My uncle lives 600 miles away and we were never close.

Growing up without a father sucks. I can’t really have this conversation with my mom without hurting her. If my mom and I ever have a disagreement I have no one else to talk to. I feel so alone. I feel like I have missed out on all of the little things, like having your dad give you piggy backs or teaching me how to ride a bike or getting over protective when I show an interest in boys. I don’t miss my donor personally, i mourn the loss of a childhood without a dad.