Who ARE you?
I’m a donor conceived child, the daughter of a lesbian couple who decided they wanted a child together 26ish years ago. My parents told me about the basics of my conception as soon as I was old enough to understand enough to wonder why I didn’t have a dad, unlike most of my friends. I had a happy normal(ish) childhood. It probably helped that I look a lot like my mom, so I never had that daily reminder that looking different would bring. I was lucky. I always knew I was loved and wanted, and I don’t think my parents were wrong for deciding to conceive using a donor. I probably would make the same choice in their shoes. I’m at peace with it.
However, I always have been, and still am, SO curious about my donor – I’m not going to call him my father, I believe that that is a title that is earned, not granted by biology, and he certainly didn’t raise me…
Anyway, there is so much I want to know, and no easy way I can ever find that information out, and it’s NOT FAIR. What do you look like? Do you have medical conditions I should be worried about? Do I have biological siblings? What’s your family history? Do you have a bunch of weird allergies, like me, or did I just lose the genetic lottery? What kind of things do you like? What do you do for work? What are your passions? What are your fears? Do you struggle with mental health issues like me? Who ARE you, and how much of who I am is from you?
Dear provider-of-my-genetic- materials;
I don’t want your money, I don’t need your love, I don’t need you to raise me. I just want to know who you are, and want to ask you so many questions.