All Anonymous Us Stories

Search / Filter Stories

Dear It’s Not easy- I agree! and I’M GOING TO DO IT, a message from a Donor Conceived Child

Hello, I know that you both did not ask for a reply so I preface this response with a clear statement that my opinion is not, nor will it ever be, a fact. Neither of you have any obligation to listen to my opinion nor do you even need to read this. I simply found both of your perspectives intriguing and relative to my own thoughts and opinions on anonymous donor conception. However I will use your statements to frame my own experience, and I hope that is okay with you both. I will start with my personal childhood as…

Faking It

My parents were honest about my donor conception and I didn’t think about it much. What shattered me was their deception about divorce. They filed for divorce when I was only 5. But my brother, sister, and I had to pretend that they were married if any out of town visitors asked, like my grandmother. Oh, and they had to pretend to my dad’s boss that they were still married for fear that he would lose all authority and clout (and possibly get fired) if his big boss knew that he was divorced. But truth has a way of getting…

My story

I’m 41 & female. When I was 26, my mother told me I was donor conceived. I had just moved with my husband from my home state of Minnesota to Idaho. The reason for the move was that my parents had just divorced, and my mother had moved to Idaho to be near family, and we went too because my mom & I are and have always been very close. I couldn’t help but note that this revelation came once they had divorced & were not getting along at all. Clearly, her decision to tell me stemmed from a place…

Unknown known siblings

I can see my half-brothers Instagram photos, he looks like me…he’s a young adult now…so he deserves to know right? That I exist? That his Dad is my biological dad. But his Dad doesn’t want his family to know about me…so I remain silent…he wants to pretend I never found him. He hasn’t told his kids, maybe not even his wife …my siblings…someday will they be mad at me for not telling them? Will my bio-dad hate me if I tell them- that’s supposed to be his job but he refuses to do it. Would it even matter if he…

Donor Adults Dating

I have 3 daughters who are teens, young adults. We discuss their likes and attractions. They all have said they would want to know if someone was conceived though artificial means before they got into a relationship. And that it would matter. Do/Should donor children tell prospective partners their origins? In the future will parents be required to disclose this on birth certificates? I think about the millions of donor children/adults now in the world and think about how society will consider them in generations to come? Should parents consider these artificial categories they may be placing people in with…

I cannot detach from the child I bore

I agreed to be a surrogate for a friend who was unable to conceive, using her husband’s sperm. I stayed attached after birth and breast fed my baby. Keep in mind that this baby is mine, my egg, not hers. I was supposed to surrender the baby after birth to her for adoption by her. She can be the aunt, but I am the mother. I’m sorry in a way that it didn’t work out, but it didn’t. I kept the baby and I am the responsible parent and I get child support. They have visitation which is generous, I…

No One Thought of the Children

I was a donor in college. I was poor, struggling, and 19. When I first considered becoming a donor, I had moral reservations even though I did not have religious upbringing. I asked my parents and other family members and some close friends. No one expressed the concern that anonymous IVF was immoral. So, I swallowed this uncomfortable feeling and justified my “earning” $30 per donation with platitudes that I would be helping to conceive a child who will be loved in this world. In this world, where there are so many unwanted pregnancies, I would be helping couples to…

Always felt there’s something missing.

I was conceived via AID (artificial insemination donor) as it was called in the late 1960s in England. My father had his prostate removed so he and my mother went down the route of artificial insemination by anonymous donor. Mum told me when I was a child. All about how desperate she was for a baby, and how much I was wanted, and I was special. It doesn’t feel like that. I’m middle aged now, and I went through a phase of kidding myself it doesn’t matter. But it does. It always has if I’m honest. I’ve felt disconnected for…

Not really a donor story

This isn’t technically a donor child story but it’s the story of how I got here and how it turned out. My name’s Caiden and I’m 18. I live with my mom and dad, older brother and younger sister. I’m not close at all to my older brother who has a different father, but I’m really close to mom and dad and especially sis. Mom said we’re like two peas in a pod. When I was 15 I found out that my dad isn’t my biological father. I felt totally dislocated for a while because I’m close with my dad…

My Story

I was pretty happy to see the back of 2018! After four rounds of clomofine fertility drugs we fell pregnant, sadly we lost our baby girl at 27 weeks due a bad heart. As devastating as it was we tried again twice through IVF which both failed. We have been told that our greatest chance to be parents would be egg donation. I am reaching out to egg donor children to see if there are happy stories! If we are blessed with a baby I will never hide it from them and we have chosen semi open donation so that…

Dear Nanny

Nanny, I don’t know if you still check this site, I hope you see this. If you want to find potential grandchildren I encourage you to do an AncestryDNA or 23andme DNA test. You’ll be able to find grandchildren who are looking this way. If you need help try to post something on https://www.reddit.com/r/donorconceived/ our “nanny needs help” in the title, and I’ll find you.

Unknown known siblings

I can see my half-brothers Instagram photos, he looks like me…he’s a young adult now…so he deserves to know right? That I exist? That his Dad is my biological dad. But his Dad doesn’t want his family to know about me…so I remain silent…he wants to pretend I never found him. He hasn’t told his kids, maybe not even his wife …my siblings…someday will they be mad at me for not telling them? Will my bio-dad hate me if I tell them- that’s supposed to be his job but he refuses to do it. Would it even matter if he…