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Seek and Ye Shall Find

I was in my 20’s, living in a state far from where I grew up. I was single and working at a major university when I saw an ad for sperm donors. I called the number listed and set up an appointment. At the appointment I filled out a long questionnaire and was required to leave a semen sample. At some point I was given a physical by a doctor, but I think this may have been on a subsequent visit. The man who was “in charge” of the donors showed me my sperm under a microscope. My count wasn’t…

So Much Bitterness

I have noticed a lot of bitterness here for donors, sperm and egg. There also seems to be a degree of hostility toward parents of donor children. Everyone knows that adopting a child is a complicated, expensive and often heartbreaking process. While giving a child in need a home is wonderful, why should a woman forgo motherhood if she can’t afford the expense. As far as that goes, why should she not have the right to her own biological child, unless she wants to take the risk of picking someone up in a bar, which appears to be more acceptable…

Turns out, it wasn’t unsaleable after all!

Hi folks – you might remember my story from: My Unsaleable Semen back in 2013 where I described my experience as a semen donor who – as I was led to believe – had unsaleable semen because I was adopted and had no information about my genetic parents. Well guess what – life has a way of surprising one…back in 2015 or so, I sent my DNA in for testing by Ancestry in the hopes of finding out more about my genetic background. I found some second and third cousins, but no help in identifying my birth parents – so…

Beautiful Blessing

My sweet donor conceived baby girl turns one month old tomorrow. As I watch her sleeping in her crib, I can’t help wonder about her donor. I wonder if he knows about this beautiful blessing he gave us. I wonder what features she inherited from him. I am so thankful for him and what he did. We tried to conceive for 6 years before we became pregnant. My husband was born sterile and this was a complete shock to both of us. The hurt and pain from infertility is unreal and we are so grateful to no longer be in…

Dear “WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY?”

I feel the exact same way. I’m also a donor conceived daughter of a single mom and it pains me to know how selfish her decision was in having me. My mom was 42, never dated and needed someone in her life. By removing my father legally (with out even giving me the chance) she has sole custody and control over my life. It’s not right I agree with you. I’d love to talk to you more.

Why I Chose Adoption

I went through three rounds of IVF before calling it quits. My husband and I actually started the adoption process first. We didn’t have a very strong preference about adoption vs. biological children, but we felt a real urgency to have children, and it was not happening for us the old-fashioned way. After a year passed, and the adoption process kept dragging on, we decided to give IVF a try in hopes we could have a child sooner than later. After the second failed try, the doctor said she was not sure if the problem was the sperm or the…

A Response to “Dear John Doe”, from John Doe

Dear child, a few answers to your questions to clear the air. Why did I donate in the first place? An equal combination of 2 and 3, but without the “ego” emphasis you stress in your genes guess. Answers to other questions: Mexican, air traffic controller, Protestant, liberal, current events are the prelude to major positive changes, Crime and Punishment, and Casablanca. Don’t blame your mother for her choices in your conception; you were created from pure love on her part and the notion that she consciously chose to deprive you of knowing me is ludicrous. A woman’s need to…

I worry that my child will be unhappy

I am a heterosexual woman in a happy marriage. After several IVFs with 40 fertilized eggs in total and no implementation we realize that egg donation is the only alternative if we want to go through a pregnancy which we want. I have so much love to give and I miss a child so much that it becomes unbearable sometimes. But for me egg donation is not a simple choice. Not because of my own feelings – I know I would love my child no matter of the genes – but because of what my child would think about me…

Who ARE you?

I’m a donor conceived child, the daughter of a lesbian couple who decided they wanted a child together 26ish years ago. My parents told me about the basics of my conception as soon as I was old enough to understand enough to wonder why I didn’t have a dad, unlike most of my friends. I had a happy normal(ish) childhood. It probably helped that I look a lot like my mom, so I never had that daily reminder that looking different would bring. I was lucky. I always knew I was loved and wanted, and I don’t think my parents…

I Never Knew I Was a Donor Baby

I didn’t think twice about providing AncestryDNA with a saliva sample. My husband, Brett, was curious to learn more about his cultural background, and I figured why not? It would be interesting to see the percentage breakdown of my parent’s genetic contribution to me – Polish, Italian, and Irish, and maybe even based on our findings plan a trip to the location that yielded the most confidence. So, when we received our DNA package, we both spit generously in the given vials and sent the package immediately in the mail eagerly awaiting our results. The results came to us on…

New Son, Maybe

Around thirty years ago, while my wife was pregnant with our second child, I saw an ad for donors at our local hospital, in Baltimore. My wife and I knew people that had problems with fertility, in various ways, and I thought it would be a positive thing to get involved. I asked my wife, and with her permission I signed up. There was money too, but it was negligible, and hardly worth the 20 mile drive from my house. Over the next 2.5 years, and two pregnancies, I remained in the program. The rules were that I had no…

What Keeps Me Up at Night

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that I am donor conceived. I was raised by an incredible single mom with a little brother from the same donor. There was no lack of love in my life. When I was a kid, I used to imagine that my dad was a superhero. I made up stories that he was a soldier fighting to protect me, that he was an MLB player on my hometown team who I’d watch hit home runs and trot around the bases triumphantly, that he was an ice cream man, or a firefighter, or…