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I was pretty happy to see the back of 2018! After four rounds of clomofine fertility drugs we fell pregnant, sadly we lost our baby girl at 27 weeks due a bad heart. As devastating as it was we tried again twice through IVF which both failed. We have been told that our greatest chance to be parents would be egg donation. I am reaching out to egg donor children to see if there are happy stories! If we are blessed with a baby I will never hide it from them and we have chosen semi open donation so that…

Dear Nanny

Nanny, I don’t know if you still check this site, I hope you see this. If you want to find potential grandchildren I encourage you to do an AncestryDNA or 23andme DNA test. You’ll be able to find grandchildren who are looking this way. If you need help try to post something on https://www.reddit.com/r/donorconceived/ our “nanny needs help” in the title, and I’ll find you.

Unknown known siblings

I can see my half-brothers Instagram photos, he looks like me…he’s a young adult now…so he deserves to know right? That I exist? That his Dad is my biological dad. But his Dad doesn’t want his family to know about me…so I remain silent…he wants to pretend I never found him. He hasn’t told his kids, maybe not even his wife …my siblings…someday will they be mad at me for not telling them? Will my bio-dad hate me if I tell them- that’s supposed to be his job but he refuses to do it. Would it even matter if he…

To PLEASE just adopt a child in need:

I am also donor conceived, and I whole heartedly agree with you. I feel the same pain you do. I hate how everyone talks about how parents want to have a biological connection to the child, and in the same breath, they talk about how that desire warrants DENYING their child the SAME desire to have a connection with one of their biological parents. We are human beings. We are not fertility treatments, procedures, genetic material, donations, or “gifts”. We are not the physical representation of our parents’ desire. We are not obligated to be thankful for something we neither…

Dear “I WORRY THAT MY CHILD WILL BE UNHAPPY”

I conceived our now nearly 18 year old daughter with the help of anonymous egg donation. We have always been honest about this. When DD was very young and asked about siblings (repeated attempts failed) I told him my belly couldn’t make any more babies and as she grew older I added things like the doctors and a nice lady helped us have you. I always referred to her as our “Miracle Baby.” I think she was starting to learn about biology in elementary school when I elaborated on how the “nice lady helped” she only recently mentions our lack…

Call me Nanny

I only discovered this month, July, 2018, that when my daughter was 23 (1994) she sold her eggs to (probably) a fertility lab in New York City. She was a grad student at the time. When I inadvertently found this out, I was stunned, then sad, then actually grief struck as if someone had died – whereas someone was born, perhaps a number of someones. She would not tell me how many eggs were retrieved, if this is the correct question. She did not want to discuss it. but I cannot stop thinking that I could have grandchildren, a girl,…

At 35 I found out.

My mom disclosed to me at age 35 my sister was donor conceived. Three years later a separate donor contributed to my birth. I never felt close with my dad. I knew we were beyond different. I didn’t have the same characteristics as him. Emotionally, verbally, looks, interests. We never really were close as I grew up. He never taught me how to be a man. Never talked about his past. Never discussed girls. Nothing. I grew up just trial and error. I never felt close to my sister. I always said to my mom, ‘She didn’t like me. We…

Potential Mom

I am a 30yr old single female. I am currently not in any relationship, have not been in one for 7 years, and have no desire for one. Since turning 30, I’ve been struggling with the fact that my single lifestyle choice might mean I’ll never have children, so I’ve been researching sperm donors. I do have some health issues that could affect my ability to get pregnant so I do feel that time is ticking. I am not lonely, and do not want a child because of loneliness. I am also attracted to a different ethnicity and would likely…

Alone

I was conceived using both donor egg and donor sperm. I was raised be a single mother desperate for children. Honestly I can’t understand her choice. She decided to “make” kids that were not her own just so she could have the experience of pregnancy instead of adopting a child that desperately needed a home and would have the same genetic connections to her – none. I feel so alone, the only person I know I am related to is my twin sister, and even we look nothing alike. People don’t even believe we’re twins, they just think that we…

Dear – I’M GOING TO DO IT

Dear – I’m going to do it. I am/was a donor (once a donor always a donor I guess) and I agree very strongly with your perspective. I am of the male side of scenarios like this, and getting bashed for being a donor. You have no reason to feel guilty or be apologetic, and I refuse to accept guilt from my side. You have the same right as any woman to be a mother, and with modern medical technology you can find a man that has the traits you want to see in your child. People have always done…

PLEASE, Just adopt a child in need

Prospective adults of sperm/egg donation, please listen. I’m a DC child and growing up without knowing my father has destroyed me. It has given me depression, anxiety, abandonment issues, “daddy issues” and just every day sadness. I personally think that Anonymous sperm and egg “donation” should be illegal. I know you want that perfect little baby who is biologically yours, but that baby is also 50% some stranger that you and they will never ever get to meet. They will resent you for signing away their rights to meet their father/mother. Adopting a child is so much better for everyone….

Considering conceiving via donor, but worried by testimonies – perspectives?

I am a 37 year old woman considering conceiving a child via a donor, and came on to this site as I wanted to know how donor-conceived children felt about their origin. I am now very concerned having read some of the testimonies on here that it can have a really negative impact on the child – in some cases to the point that they seem to wish they had not been born – and I would like to know further perspectives. In particular I would like to know if there are ways to mitigate the difficulties, for example, being…